| The President of the United States 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20500-0003 Congress of the United States Washington, DC 20510 Dear Mr. President, members of Congress, and other assorted civil servants: I see the Constitution of the United States to be an impedance to enacting meaningful social reform. Too many people put stock in the words of a bunch of dead rich white guys. In order to combat this misguided worship of outdated ideas, I will do what many political activists are hesitant to do -- lead by example. In order to enact social justice, I will do my small part to free the government from the Constitutional straightjacket that prevents intelligent leaders from making common sense reforms to American society. To this end, I renounce the rights recognized in the Constitution as the "Bill of Rights". I hereby proclaim: I. Since dangerous ideas, included bizarre religions, are being transmitted at lightning speed through the Internet, I hereby vow to support any and all actions taken by the government to censor any ideas or any technology it deems harmful. I also promise to support any actions any government agency may use to disperse assemblies, since this is more often than not cover for racist militias. Furthermore, I support any actions the government may undertake to suppress dissent against legitimate government activities, even if they masquerade under the lofty euphemism of "petitioning of grievances." Such dissent prevents the government from operating smoothly and efficiently. II. I recognize that the sole reason for the existence of the Second Amendment is to provide for the arming of the National Guard. Private citizens should be forbidden to use any sort of weapon, including fist and foot. To that end, I vow never to use any form of weapon, even in defense of my life or the lives of others. I fully understand that this document may be used against me in a court of law, this will strengthen my resolve to not to ever use a weapon in any circumstance. III. Budget cutbacks are harming our military's ability to do good works around the world. I volunteer to quarter troops at my residence. IV. To combat crime, especially drug crime, I hereby waive my Fourth Amendment Rights. I will provide my local police with a key to my residence and automobile, with a written letter permitting them to search my possessions whenever they wish. I will also instruct any financial institutions with which I conduct business to provide any interested government agencies a quarterly report of my financial dealings. And if possible, I would like to volunteer for the home monitoring system. V. Police and grand juries only charge guilty parties. Trials only allow the guilty to escape on technicalities. To take the high ground, I hereby waive my right to trial. VI. Given the damage that is occurring to our sacred habitats, I consent to allow the government free usage of any property it requires to perform its legitimate duties. VII. President Bill Clinton was correct about it being dangerous for people to have too much freedom. To that end, I agree to only those rights that the government says I'm allowed to have. Sincerely, ___________________ ____________________ ______________ Signature Social Security Number Date [Notary Public Info goes here] |
Gun Free Home Contract |